


Gary's Incels: A Crack Christmas Story

by comete



Category: Bully (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Other, here, i was going to write something series but, this is pure crack cocaine ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comete/pseuds/comete
Summary: Gary is taken to Happy Volts and Petey cries in homosexual. We all know this familiar song and dance, but what happens when Gary's female White Knights come to his rescue?
Relationships: Everyone/Everyone, Gary Smith/This Coochie, Jimmy Hopkins/Gary Smith, Peter "Petey" Kowalski/Gary Smith, Reader/Mr. Burton
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Gary's Incels: A Crack Christmas Story

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. You may proceed.

It’s a school day. This is how all the fics start. Somewhere in the morning. 

Jimmy (the bisexual king that we STAN ladies!!!!!) wakes up to the sound of Algie pissing his pants in the hallway. Peetey was probably having a wet dream about Mr. Galloway, Gary off being a stand-in for one of the edgy kids in Thirteen Reasons Why, and Sh*ldon drinking toilet water and paint. You may ask, well, how did things get to be this normalized? Pee in the dorms and all?

Ah. Yerjkrjker. 

It started when Gary’s phat fuckin’ ass got hauled away to Zappy Bolts where he was forced to finally get some fucking therapy and some placebos so he stops acting like Onision. He was locked away in a small cupboard under the stairs for nearly a month and fed nothing but Honeycombs and spare La Crocs or whatever the fuck it’s called. It was a simple life that he tolerated, keeping to himself and taking his _“medicine”_ (pez) daily. 

While Gary was having a vacation in the cellar of Flappy Dolts, things at Bullshit Academy began to spiral out of control as word got out that Gary was being hospitalized. This caused a riot in the once quiet town of Bullshit, Fangirls everywhere swarming the large school in protest of their _“problematic trash husband uwu”_ being taken away where they could not observe his abuse with soaked panties. A fight broke out amongst the students, staff, and the Fangirl army. It was worse than when Gary had ignited the all-out brawl on the schoolyard. This fight was fought not with fists, no, with something worse that plagued each life that it touched.

The war was fought by the Fangirls with Kpop edits and unironic _“Yaaassss bitch werk queen”_ phrases on the internet. The first casualties of war were most of the children students, going to bed and never waking up as God silently took them in their sleep to prevent them from being a victim of the harsh war that was ahead of Bullshit Academy. This included all of the youngsters except for fucking Sh*ldon of course since he is the actual embodiment of Lucifer himself. Even Jesus, all-knowing Lamb of God that was resting peacefully in Heaven above, said in regards to Sh*ldon’s immortal soul rising to the clouds, and I quote, _“No, thanks.”_

After the innocent was spared, the first wave of attack came. Nudes began leaking of fellow students, most of which belonged to the Nerd Clique because, let’s face it, most are simps. Except for Bucky. All hail the Buckster. Next came the OnlyFans leak. This sent a shock through the community when the revelation of the thick ass that was sold online belonged to Johnny Vincent and not one of the ladies. His juicy plump ass was posted everywhere, including the Dorm bulletin board. No matter how many times Mr. Burton collected the evidence to “dispose of,” more continued to show up and plaster every available wall. The first casualty in direct regard to the Fangirls guerilla tactics was Johnny Vincent. He was unable to take the humiliation of his ass being posted with the sepia tone filter, ashamed at the quick choice he had made when editing the photo. He didn’t care that his butt was being shown, not at all, it was the fact that the sepia tone did not fit well with his skin. He died via lethal injection when he filled his veins with a mixture of Heinz KRANCH™ _(ketchup + ranch)_

After that was when the real tragedies began to strike.   
Nobody was safe from the Fangirls. 

Hand-drawn porn of students began to show up, all gay, of course, showing them tangled up in impossible positions with the not so uncommon tentacle or cow udders being thrown into the mix. Fanfictions began to pop up on the Bullshit Academy Student Message Board website, long drabbles with tags that almost always consisted of alpha/beta/omega, Enemies to Lovers, Period-Typical Homophobia, and PWP.

Simply reading more than a single line of the Fanfictions caused a nosebleed to those less prepared, not having built up years of a mental tolerance to the Ways of the Fangirls like students such as Melvin had. It was rumored that Melvin wrote lengthy in-detail exchanges between Petey and Gary in his free time. It was never proved to be true, however. He was killed by a GE9X engine for the Boeing 777X aircraft. His wenches grieved for years. Some never got over it. I, for one, still wear black every day and think fondly back to his Piss Drawer with warm memories of what we once were.

But this story isn’t about me, Blowjob the Brave. This story is about Tumblr’s Finest, America’s Most Wanted, The Aura Checkers of College Parties. While there are people in the fandom such as Jas the Casey Knot enthusiast, Richie the RAT BASTARD OF BULLWORTH, and the Gary Smith kinnies (Gare specifically uwu ily), this story is aimed to show the horrors that followed when the Fangirls could no longer jerk it to angsty Gary Smith (who is fucking like 14 by the way!!!!! Im calling cps)

The faculty was at a loss of what to do. How could the staff combat such a powerful force such as VSCO girls and Kpop Doxxers? The teachers with every few deaths of students began to seek employment elsewhere, leaving the academy to pursue a life of enrichment and dick sucking to climb the corporate ladder. Ms. Danvers, as we all know, has already sucked all the cocks that she needed to have a cushy job of staring at nothing, t-posing, and bringing tea to the Big Daddy all day. She wasn’t about to give up and leave, no chance! As Danny DeVito said in It’s Always Sunny, “some cocks can’t be unsucked.”

After the staff left, the students turn to Peetey (whom was still the Headboy (but called that for other reasons _winkwink_ he gives head (but only to like,,,,, kirby who gives him poundcake _winkwink_ hehe (i am referencing intercourse btw hailymaryhailymaryhailmary)))) to offer guidance in the trying times that were presented before them. “What do we do,” the students questioned through tears and exclamations, horrified at the deaths of their former peers. More than a quarter of the school had already succumbed to the relentless murders of the stans. How could they possibly fight back?

It was late one night in Peetey’s dorm that it came to him after longing staring at Gary’s empty cot across the room (you’ve read the Gary/Peetey fics, you know how it is.) He missed the students, arguably even more than the Fangirls did. Peetey did not judge, did not sexualize, and did not ask to be Vored such as the Fangirl Army had previously. He would never ask those things of his best frenemy, no matter how much he lusted for it. Peetey wanted him back, wanted his tormenter back in his life to continue the abuse that he labeled as love. What was to be done, though? The Fangirls blamed the students for his downfall, citing a traumatic past with Daddy issues and the students teasing him being the main source of his mental breakdown. Little did they know, Peetey thought to himself, there was no tragic backstory regarding Gary. He was Just Like That. He had loving parents and a nice, wholesome upbringing. He was literally just a little bitch all the time. Anyway, how could the school repel against the Stans? They defended everything Gary did. Things would always be awful even when he eventually would be released, the Fangirls never ceasing their constant horny wails of desperation.

Peetey suddenly gasped out loud, sitting up straight in his bed and nearly causing Bucky under his cot to jump at the quick shift of the bed. Wait! That’s it!

To get Fangirls to unstan,,,, you must do something that is undefendable with no possible explanation of clarity that points to another conclusion. You must go to the source. All students would have to do it if they wanted to survive another day,,,,, and that includes Gary fucking Smith.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: video-space
> 
> I also think there is another bully fangirl crack fic?? if there is I'm sorry, this town isn't big enough for the two of us and I will be ceasing all internet activity effective immediately.


End file.
